June 02, 2008

What is your passion?

I'm just now starting to get back into the swing of things having recently returned from what can probably be considered my first real vacation in years. 10 days away from deadlines, work, worries - lots of time to do a bit of self-reflection - something that often makes me wish I was just back at work. Yes, introspection makes me cringe at the best of times.

I spent somewhere around 10 days - checking out Lisbon, driving and getting very lost in Paris ( yet I drove and survived and am a bigger person for it.... ),and just hanging out in London. I've never been to Europe - so this was pretty huge for me - I only had one thing I couldn't leave without seeing -and that was checking out Shakespeare's Globe in London.

While grabbing the tube one day, I noticed a poster on the one of the walls beside the escalator going up to the Angel stop exit- it simply read " Its not too late to change your life". Funny how that item, out of the million of amazing things I saw over the period of my vacation, that one resonated.

Coming back to work - I realized how much I love what I do. Of course thats a huge generalization. I don't love all aspects of what I do - which many of my co-workers can probably attest to :). But I love the process of creating something and then sitting back and watching how someone consumes/uses that piece. But I'm at the point where I need to push myself a bit more to become more, and that means inevitably moving out of my comfort zone.

Am I passionate about development? Yep, as much as a sloppy, self taught developer can be I suppose. I'm not the best developer by any means, and its been a great experience to be surrounded by so many talented developers who could kick my ass in the programming arena. I've learned lots, I've shared lots - but ultimately, I don't think my greatest contribution is that as a busy bee developer. It's taken me awhile to get used to the fact that I'm not going to be great - that I'm only going to be good. And I'm okay with that.

What am I passionate about? I'm come to discover that development, for me, is a means to an end - a way to be self sufficient to a degree. I can take an idea and execute it if need be all on my own. Empowerment, for me is huge. But I'm often more passionate about creating a solution that is right as much as I am about executing it. I often find myself to be the user advocate - fighting for all the things that will make the experience, a better one, for the user. And therein lies my passion. Ultimately, I want to create things that not only will people use, but they will enjoy using. Completely vague I know. What am I passionate about? User experience.

Funny how when you reflect on things you typically look at all the building blocks, the pieces that together make the picture, but the picture itself can be overlooked - or maybe for me, it was just a bit blurry.

Posted by bitch at 05:51 PM | Comments (3)